I realise I had forgotten abt my blog since uni studies... i dunno y but seems like for certain parts of the year I suddenly lost contact wif the world (Thanks to CS3215 and the sucky team) and maybe the hectics days of performing freshmen orientation camp.
For some reasons, I seems to try very hard to forget whatever has happened to me for past few yrs.. maybe its coz there's too much stuff going on till I cant concentrate what I'm doing, YES TALKING abt been a GOD and indeed yes I AM, going to sch at 8-10 am and staying all the way till 2359 hrs? Man, i really forget abt the time i spend, its just like what a fren told me: NUS Computing students never got a chance to see the sun.
Also damn tt lecturer, I'm not given any HYP at the end thanks to your delaying of time and your selfishness!!!! haiz shall not mention abt HYP anymore again.
Anyway, i realise I hab lost touch with a lot of frens and ppl, like Alvin, Vincent, Woei pERNG(Though I see you at sci busstop occasionally), really wishing for the chance to meet you guys back.
I guess i hab been preventing myself to do blog updates.. coz everytime when i wanna make updates i will definitely write sth abt myself.. and i hate to think thru myself..
I hate to find out faults in me, and perhaps avoid reality becoz i know i'm not perfect. I jus wan to be an ordinary person. I may be tough but I'm not emotional stable perhaps. As always, nothing good will come to me. Its a fact! And i hab always been the "nice" guy helping every1 out yet not expecting any return. But heaven is always making fun of nice ppl, gicing them more shit, dun grant them gd wishes.
I'm lost sometimes yes indeed I'm lost to myself. I always realise i hab so many things to learn from life.Life is so unpredictable. Well sometimes maybe i being mean to others maybe in talking (Its not on purpose, but rather its unintentionally); perhaps due to my living environment and grow up environment. I dun wan ppl to get bullied partly in a way. I had a tough time since young, everybody is like out to against me. Y? Coz they r not happy wif me? I dun really noe.I'm the target for everything. I do well ppl also jealous nv do well ppl also look down.
Just like being in OCS, its supposed to be a proud moment, or maybe how abt the days i tried to do well for poly? Maybe only my mom and dad r pleased but not others. can u imagine if i didnt do well? I'll still get squeezed out. Maybe i hab fight too hard for my recognition and effort but actually I just wan to be an ordinary person.
Oh ya did i mentioned I hate traffic light games? yes indeed. I was forced to rem alot of past things. It did seems like i was at fault most of the time.. maybe most of it is coz i dunno human relation beri well den. its like wat ppl say 我不会做人. But i guess nobody noes that i been reflecting on myself everyday becoz i hate to cause other ppl life miserable. i can say i'm changed but i have no prove and nobody noes too.
I met a new fren online (Thanks to hans) but i actually doubt how long it will last... its not tat person's fault jus tat i think i'm being too random again and WEIRD that ppl might avoid me. Nobody likes ppl who r so random and weird, cause tis is 1 of the reason for a person to be miserable/worried though tis is also a reason y ppl r interested in random and weird ppl (they come out extraordinary stuff wif gd quality =X). But being random and weird can also be a form of showing out my courage too. I guess not everybody is so courageous to do take tings in ur hand and do it out.
As what tat person claim, online and reality can be fake. its true maybe i kinda gd wif typing but not when it comes to reality. I'm more of the Zhuge Liang quiet quiet and observe ppl kind (I'm not saying i'm wise ok). Even if you hab faults i also wun comment on it unless i really cant take it anymore.
Anyway life goes on, I jus wanna apologise if I hab caused you some problems. Stay cool everyone till my next moment...
American paratrooper song from World War II: Blood on the Risers
He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright, as he checked off his equipment and made sure his pack was tight; He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar, "You ain't gonna jump no more!"
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
"Is everybody happy?" said the Sergeant looking up, Our Hero feebly answered "Yes," and then they stood him up; He jumped into the icy blast, his static line unhooked, And he ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock, He felt the winds, he felt the clouds, he felt the awful drop, The silk from his reserve spilled out and wrapped around his legs, And he ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
The risers wrapped around his neck, connectors cracked his dome, Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones; The canopy became his shroud; he hurtled to the ground. And he ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
The days he'd lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind, He thought about the girl back home, the one he'd left behind; He thought about the medics and he wondered what they'd find, And he ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild, The medics jumped and screamed with glee, rolled up their sleeves and smiled, For it had been a week or more since last a 'chute had failed, And he ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
He hit the ground, the sound was "Splat!," his blood went spurting high, His comrades then were heard to say: "A hell of a way to die!" He lay there rolling round in the welter of his gore, And he ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
(slowly, solemnly)
There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the chute, Intestines were a'dangling from his Paratrooper suit, He was a mess, they picked him up, and poured him from his boots, And he ain't gonna jump no more
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more!
The chorus can also be sung in this 'uncensored' version:
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die With a rifle up your ass and a bullet in your eye Gory, gory what a hell of a way to die When your balls hang lower then your paratrooper boots
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die With a rifle in your hand, and you're falling through the sky Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die He ain't gonna jump no more!
The final chorus is (rarely) changed alternately to:
(solemly sing)
They placed him in a blanket, then they laid his soul to rest They notified his next of kin; his funeral was the best And on his monument of stone they scribed this little verse: He ain't gonna jump no more
Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die He ain't, gonna jump, no more...
Or:
Beautiful streamer please open for me Blue skies above me and no canopy I counted ten thousand, waited too long Reached for my ripcord and the handle was gone
Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die He ain't, gonna jump, no more...
sometimes do proj also must depends on who u r working wif.. its best if they are sync to u and provide the best team player approach instead of being the team leader and ordering approach. thx
Sometimes I find that it is so hard to look through my life.. I mean i cant seems to look through it and i seem to got stuck at myself.. my own limits... my own "good-luck" ... well things have not been going smoothly for me I guess, that's why i felt very down maybe I should cool down and take things at a time.. but I guess I'm really sux.. in everything I gotta admit it.
Argh... its happening to me again.. I have no more 2301 tutorial slot again and i gotta pick some no lunch break slot just like my last sem. ==" damn upset la.. y issit always happening to me.. I wonder y i choose NUS in 1st place then i can avoid all these already.
Y NUS? coz of the promise I make years ago in USA... there was this little girl... very upset (kena rejected by some guy)... I guess subconsciously I dont really want her to be sad and i tell her lets go NUS hahaha and she kinda agreed... Guess i did it.. but i don't think she rem abt this now...so many years already haix... maybe all these years she still haben forget abt tat guy either too... --"
I hope I'm able to see you in NUS soon though i don't even dare to dream anything now... ( I hab serious insomnia =P)
